The Shinigami guard [del 33] |
Kap 33
Rosanne:
I couldn’t believe what I just heard, and it took a few seconds for me to let everything sink down. I went towards the activity hall and found Jacob sitting there laughing with his friends. It suddenly pained me in the chest to see him laughing, carefree. I felt so humiliated for some reason, as if I’ve exposed myself to the world or something. I was right at the door and kept examining Jacob.
Are all the boys really the same? Is Jacob just like all of them? I thought.
I creased my eyebrows and my head started to hurt. The same feelings came back, insecurity, lies, stomachache, and head pains. One of those, when you doubt the person you love.
Suddenly Gwen walks past me, opening the door so all the boys could see us entering. Then she looked back at me and then forward, as if nothing had happened. I couldn’t believe how soft I became; it was shocking to me how I felt so vulnerable towards her. I started walking behind her, trying to seem happy. Gwen sat next to Jacob and there was a free space on the other side to him. But it pained me to see him sit next to Gwen, close to each other. Usually, I would just play back with her and take him with me, but right now, I felt emotionally tangled. I took a stool next to Emo or Timo whatever his name was.
I looked out of the window, when they were talking. And I could suddenly feel the big difference between Shinigami and Human. I closed my eyes hard, I hated school right now. I wished I didn’t get involved. Then, maybe I wouldn’t get to know anything of this. Because…I want to be wrapped around his finger, still want to listen to his lies. Thinking of how him and me were on the bed, how it felt when he stroked his hand on my stomach and arms. Suddenly, Gwen and Jacob’s faces came in mind, how they both might have been.
I opened my eyes and I felt disgust shiver through my spine. I stood up directly and felt everyone’s eyes at me. Suddenly, I could feel such a flare inside of me that it was about to burst. I had forgotten that I am Rose, the badass girl.
I went towards Jacob and Gwen whom looked at me with a question mark on their faces. Then I placed my foot right between Gwen’s face and Jacob’s shoulder. I took hold of Jacob’s face, so we faced each other.
“Wha-“Jacob said.
One of my eyebrows rose, “It’s amazing how I still like you although I know now how entangled you were with other girls” I whispered towards him, “It’s amazing how I could feel safe with you and how I still can”
I then glanced at Gwen; I took down my feet, “So you took me out just to tell me that you banged Jacob?” I said, in a sharp voice.
Gwen gasped and her eyebrows sunk, “N-no! I just…wanted to…” she mumbled.
“Feel proud now? I wouldn’t. I don’t care about the past, the past is the past. No matter how much he’s been with girls, he’s different now. So don’t come to me and tell me about you and him stories” I said, sharply.
Jacob looked at Gwen, and then back at me, “Rose!” he mumbled.
Suddenly, I just had this urge to make Jacob jealous. Jealous like hell! Just as how jealous I am right now. This isn’t the feeling of disgust, it’s the feeling of having someone you want for yourself…not having for yourself.
I went towards Timo, whom I noticed was attracted to me. I bent forward and kissed him on the lips. At first, he gasped but then he responded. Jacob gasped; he stood up, and took hold of my shoulder and pushed us away. I then took hold of his hand, which he had on my shoulder and yanked it away.
Then I smiled towards him, “He’s a good kisser. You should learn from him” I told him, and went away.
Although, I heard him following me.
tack för att ni läser! vi kommer förmodligen skriva mer idag :P
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| Kommentarer - (Snittbetyg: 5) | | loversarelonley - 27 apr 10 - 17:58 | | :D | | frdrik - 27 apr 10 - 15:53 | | Uuuh, måste läsa mera :) Måste hålla med fiiiaaas :D | Fiiiaaas - 26 apr 10 - 14:01- Betyg:  | jävlar vad jag gillar Rose :)
Hon är en cool bitch |
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